Book Buzz: Leave Your Mess at Home by Tolani Akinola
“When I sat down to write this novel, it ended up going in a completely different direction than what I had intended. I’d originally wanted to write an unrequited love story. As I was writing the first few scenes, I was like, “Oh, these people actually both love each other, so that’s not working. Also, I really feel the need to explore how this character has come to love in this way, and to deny herself love in this way.
Then, her siblings hijacked my brain.
They all had very strong voices and personalities. In trying to understand the ways in which this character had learned to love, I needed to understand the family that they came from. I think that’s why they all emerged and forced their way onto the page.”
― Tolani Akinola, Interview, Indies Introduce, Bookweb
What booksellers are saying about Leave Your Mess at Home
- I have 2 siblings that I love with everything I have. They are my best friends, but they can also be the most complex relationship dynamics in my life. Family is messy for just about everyone, and Leave Your Mess at Home is a compelling story about 4 siblings and their messy family dynamics. Throughout this novel there is certainly something that anyone can relate to, and yet it is a unique thing altogether. This brilliant debut will stick with you. Well done Tolani Akinola!
― Annastasia, The Bottom in Knoxville, Tennessee | BUY
- This book gave me all the feels. I laughed, I cried, I was sad, and I was happy. I loved following each perspective of the siblings. Seeing how they each experienced their childhood differently although they grew up in the same household with the same parents. We see how they navigate adulthood while trying to heal in so form or fashion from their childhood. This novel also showcases how delicate a parental relationship can be.
― Kala, M Judson, Booksellers in Greenville, South Carolina | BUY
- Curtis Sittenfeld’s quote caught my attention on this one. I loved Leave Your Mess at Home! This one is snappy and smart. The perfect blend of contemporary fiction with excellent writing. A complicated family story about four siblings (I loved them all). I was immediately pulled in with a family estrangement – I had to know what happened and could not stop turning the pages. There is so much to discuss in this one – book club gold.
― Jessica, Main Street Books in Davidson, North Carolina | BUY
- At times heartbreaking and hilarious, this gorgeous debut novel introduces us to the Longe siblings and immediately we’re pulled into the mess of family secrets and estrangement. Whether it’s failing to live up to their mother’s unrealistic expectations for them or failing to understand themselves enough to know how to be happy, these characters are all going through some things. So relatable and so unputdownable.
― Melissa, E. Shaver, Bookseller in Savannah, Georgia | BUY
About Tolani Akinola
Tolani Akinola is a Reese’s Book Club LitUp Fellow. She holds a BA from the University of Chicago and an MPH from the Harvard T. H. Chan School of Public Health. She lives outside of Atlanta
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Julia Langbein says that the inspiration for her new novel, Dear Monica Lewinsky, came to her during a visit to the house where she grew up: “I had to go clear out my old childhood bedroom, and I found a diary from 1998 in which I had been disparaging of Monica Lewinsky in a way that was just very casual and normal for people at that time…It was this moment of compunction — we all recognize we had it wrong — but the writer in me was like, You’re picking up on some idea of Monica Lewinsky as a kind of saint whose public life completely fits with the stories of the early martyrs.” 
I know a lot of fairy tales.
Like I cut my teeth on them. I grew up reading lots of fairy tale collections, and I realized I could only with difficulty think of fairytales where women were friends, where women talk to each other, and where they weren’t antagonists to each other in some way. I know they’re there, but the fact that I could reach for 10 stories of women waiting for rescue or women waiting to be chosen or women seeking husbands or, you know, that sort of thing instead of a story of women setting out together to have adventures—which is really what I wanted to tell my 7 year old niece who is asking me for a fairy tale— It was very disturbing to me, and I just remember in that moment thinking I’m just going to make something up. I’m gonna make something up because I really want her to know that there is room in fairytales for girls to be friends.
I hope I don’t give too much away, but I was quite inspired by Witness, with Harrison Ford amongst the Amish. I was really interested in this idea of a gangster amongst peacemakers, which is really what Witness is. I find that really fascinating. I became interested in Celtic Christianity because it was very revolutionary at the time in ways that we slightly forget. This was a world of utter warlordism, a very, very violent world and it was pagan. All of that was predicated on the idea that it was good to be strong and kill people. If gods were with you, that’s what would happen. If gods weren’t with you, you’d be weak. The idea of a religion that was founded on the idea that you might want to be weak, or you might want to be humble, was completely insane to these people. I mean, they looked at it and just went, “You’re mad! What are you talking about?”
“Why was Anne Boleyn executed? This was a question I asked myself when writing The Beheading Game, in which Anne Boleyn wakes up after her own execution, escapes from her grave in the Tower of London, sews her head back on, and goes on a revenge quest to kill Henry VIII before he can marry his next wife, Jane Seymour. Legally, the answer is she was executed because she was convicted of the crimes of treason, adultery and incest, but most historians today agree those charges were probably false. So, how did Anne go from being a queen consort, steps from the seat of English power, to climbing the steps to the scaffold in a matter of months? Sometimes the simplest explanation is the most likely, and, although I came to many answers to this question during my research, all of them circled around one central theme: misogyny.”
“When we think of environmental disaster or climate change, we often think of catastrophic events—the Californian or Australian wildfires, deadly floods in Bangladesh or Pakistan, a destructive typhoon or hurricane. When events like those becomes the point of focus, we stop thinking about other kinds of destruction and degradation. I wanted to find a way to reveal what Rob Nixon called slow violence. I didn’t want the major catastrophes to entirely dominate the novel; I wanted to bring slower instances of change to the foreground.”
“I am endlessly fascinated by sexuality—it’s almost embarrassing how much it shows in my published works. Similarly, I’m always exploring grief and the loss of innocence. Writing 200 Monas felt like a fun way to explore both simultaneously. The intersection between grief and sex somehow reminded me of being young, when the death of my father coincided with my spring awakening; I was always seeking refuge in romantic relationships, sexy films, and perverted conversations with my friends. I wanted to write something that captured that dichotomy in some way, this idea of being sad and horny at the same time.”
“There are only so many stories out there—people say seven—but for me, the question is always: what is the question I want to ask?…In Kin, the question I was interested in interrogating is the idea of searching for one’s mother. The classic story tells us, of course you search for your mother. If someone says, I don’t know where my mother is, we frame it as a brave quest to find her. But I wanted to question that impulse. Is it always better to know? Is it okay not to know? Can we learn to be satisfied with not knowing? In real life, people can be satisfied with what they have. In real life, you can marry someone who isn’t the person you once dreamed of and still have a good life. In a story, that’s often treated as an unpardonable compromise. I’m trying to bring into story life the wisdom we already know from real life.”
“When I learned about the Lebensborn, many years ago, I had a hard time believing this could be true. When I was able to confirm it, I was deeply appalled and knew I had to write about it. And I felt a book about this subject could only be for adults…the strong feelings I had about the Lebensborn never left me. Even back then, I felt girls should know about this terrible aspect of that war…It wasn’t until I learned, later, that children as young as 11 were working as couriers for the Resistance that the first seed for The Lions’ Run was planted. I began to wonder if those 11-year-olds were aware of how courageous they were. I think a lot about courage in kids; they are often confused about what it means to be brave.”
“There’s a moment in the book where Sage learns that grief is like hunger and that she will always be grieving like there’s never going to be a day that we don’t need to eat,…I can have breakfast, and then by dinnertime, I need to eat again, and next week I’m going to need a meal, and three years from now, I’m going to be hungry. That was freeing for me as a person. It wasn’t just a plot point or something to just put in the book. It was really what I needed for myself to understand that I would always miss my mother, or that there will always be some issue that we’re fighting against and standing up for in this nation, and that I can hold all of that. That’s normal and I’m okay.”
“I really enjoyed writing from Beth’s perspective. When I first read Little Women, I didn’t much like Beth. Honestly, she freaked me out. I couldn’t understand how she could accept her own untimely end with such ease. I wanted to shake her and say, “Aren’t you going to fight? Don’t you want to live?” Of course, she did. Writing Beth Is Dead helped me understand that Beth March never wanted to die, but she wasn’t given a choice, and she faced the unimaginable with bravery and strength..”
“I am obsessed with old Hollywood. I used to love Nick at Night and all the old classic TV shows. I’ve always been fascinated by that, but I’ve also always been fascinated by the fact that we all have a behind-the-scenes. And when I was touring for All the Bright Places, which is a young adult book I wrote years ago, the thing I heard most from my readers was, “Thank you for letting me know that it’s okay to be messy. It’s okay to be me, that, you know, I feel seen, and I matter.” And I just kept thinking about the fact that it’s so sad that so many people, well, all of us actually, have a behind-the-scenes that we aren’t always comfortable showing or sharing with other people. And so I wanted to write something about that. And then I thought, oh, I could combine it with my love for Hollywood because God knows there’s a lot going on behind the scenes there.”
“I had what feels to me like a bizarre, non-linear experience in the movie business. I was never a part of any union, and worked all kinds of non-union assisting jobs to finance my own projects, which had small crews and shot on film in a very guerilla fashion. I didn’t go to film school, so everything I learned about telling stories in that way came from asking a lot of questions of crew members on various sets, watching a lot of movies and interviews, and making things up as I went along.”
“My dad never spoke much about his family growing up. I knew some basics. He had grown up in Hawaii. His Aunt Ruth lived in New York, and his parents had passed. So when he called me and said Aunt Ruth wants to meet you, do you want to go meet her? I was like, so excited. This was like finally a step into my father’s past. We drove to Charleston and went and met my Aunt Ruth and we walked in and she was just this sweet little old lady. We sat and had a great conversation. I was really enjoying getting to know her. And on the coffee table next to where she was sitting, I noticed this wedding picture, and I looked at it. And I’m like, Oh, are those my grandparents? And she nodded, Yes. And I was like, Can you tell me something about them? My father never speaks of them. And she just sat there and didn’t respond. [I asked] Can you tell me anything? How did they meet, when did they get married? And she cut me off and she said, You have a good life. Don’t ruin it with the past.”
“There were many moments when I wondered if I was making Margo too despicable. But I hoped that building out her backstory and giving her a wicked sense of humor would generate some empathy and induce readers to stick around. Because yeah, she does some horrible things and has some appalling views, but funny people are usually at least a solid hang! She’s also self-made, having come from humble, somewhat tragic beginnings, which I personally admire about her and hoped others would, too.
